Thursday, May 12, 2022

We Become that we feared!

 Given enough time, we become the monsters we always feared!. 

As I get older and sometimes wiser, others not so much. I notice that I accrue characteristics and traits that I always feared and occasionally hated!. I slowly morph into the monsters I feared!. 

Change is inevitable, experiences and information help us change!. It's unavoidable and if one doesn't change then something is clearly amiss. However, Changing to what you feared, disliked or avoided not only requires formidable courage and drive but it's also dangerous.  The cognitive dissonance created from one's shift of principles could burden the mind and the soul. 

Hence, I would say, some change turns us into the heroes and role models we aspired to be in earlier years, and other forms of change transform us to the monsters and villains we despised. 

There is no good or bad change by definition because good and bad are relative!.  They are derived from one's personal morals and values. "Man of God turned athiest" might be good in the Athiest circles but is a bad omen for the spiritually minded. 

I am reluctant to share any serious examples of how I transformed into what I feared, but I remember promising myself "I will never like that" more times than I can recount. 

While on my way back from work, I received a call from someone. I knew what they were asking and I convinced myself I can not assist them in their quest. Hence I apologised "meekly" and hung up the phone. 

The young idealist me from a decade ago, would be rolling in shame at the sight.  But the young me of decade ago and myself today are completely different men!. we might share entity but not identity!. I have transformed by experiences, sometimes good and many others bad. 

I find the only remedy to guilt that accompanies this change to be acceptance!. Acceptance and realisation that whatever happened was for a reason. Alas! This means one should also accept - at least in theory- the monsters they have become!. 

Mar baan ahay mudeec camal san oo maagista aqoone, 
Marna mukhawi waashoo, xumaha miista baan ahaye!. 

`Abwaan Qaasim 


Wednesday, January 27, 2021

كل شيء يرجع الى اصله.....

ايام الطفوله اتذكر والدتي تقول لي كلما فقدت سنا  من اسناني اللبنيه، "خذ وارمي بها تجاه ارض مولدك!". بعد قليل، تراني فوق سطح  المنزل اترقب و افكر اين تكون مقديشو؟ وطبعا كل مره ارميها تجاه الجنوب ، ربما يوما ما سيصل إليها  هذا السن

.هذه كانت طريقة امي لتذكرني اني انتمي الي ارض ليست بهذه، و في يوم ما سوف نرجع حتما. امر قد تحقق
 
الاطفال خصوصا والبشر عموما يتعلمون عن هويتهم بشكل غير مباشر، كما علمتني امي، ادام الله لها العافيه و العمر

 

Saturday, January 9, 2021

The Summer that was! How stories forge identities. Sheekooy Sheeko

       I confess! The title is an over-exaggeration. each and every decision and experience would alter our trajectory in life and that of others, that is of course if the butterfly effect is a thing. however, The summer of 1998 was the formative one of my identity as a Somali. All thanks to my Grandmother Xabiiba Aadan Maxamuud Eebaha Sarreeye oo korreeye ha u naxariistee. 

That year, now 23 years ago, my family relocated from the Middle-East back to their ancestral homeland. at this point, as a year 4 primary school student, I spoke Arabic fluently and my Somali was limited to the basic interactions required for routine physiological (food, bathroom) and psychological needs. in a curt way, I was "Ciyaal casiir". 

For reasons that remain unclear to me thus far (not that I ever asked anyone about it, like if by some magical revelation I would find out) I was sent to a village across the Ethiopian borders where my paternal grandmother and uncle were residing, they were displaced from their ancestral grazelands and farms because of the civil war, one that was painfully fresh in the minds of many. 

The next morning after my arrival, woken up by the fumes emanating from the kitchen hut -that was next to my mine-where the traditional wood fire (xaabo) was used for daily cooking, my eyes watered more than the first rain of spring and my throat swell up like an engorged palate of male camel (doobta). I was genuinely flabbergasted by how rudimentary everything was. There was no electricity, running water, entertainment gadgets, or anything in resemblance to the modern world. to the young boy I was, it felt like stepping backward in time, an adventure. that morning I had a fresh Canjeero sprayed with truly fresh ghee (Subag), a meal I remember to this day, or I was just been famished!.

Soon after,  I was asked to look after the sheep - as expected of a boy my age-, my cousin would accompany me,  I was reassured. he was only a couple of years my senior and being a boy, he was delighted by the notion that he finally has someone to leave the sheep with so he can disappear and play, which he did immediately as we reached the grazing grounds. 
at first, I curiously touched everything,  experienced the feel of the countryside, the trees, I even played with different colored rocks. gave the sheep names in reference to cartoons I watched. 

about midday, I noticed a grey-ish creature moving behind a Sogsog bush (acacia ethbaica), shortly it emerged and the sheep panicked, Alas! it was a fox, or how I knew it back then "ثعلب". I was horrified, I started to flee, it was every man and sheep for themselves. fortunately, my cousin turned up at that exact moment and the fox would spare the sheep. I was made fun of for that incident many years to come, rightfully so. 

Sheekooy Sheeko , Story time.

Evenings turned out to be my favorite time of the day, My grandmother would recite stories to us and truly was a prolific raconteur. However, it was not her formidable skill in weaving the tales that remains with me as an adult but the stories themselves. you see, my grandmother was a nomadic woman through and through. She was born and raised in the wilderness of the Somali countryside.  She has spent most of her life in the countryside, she was the last generation of true nomadic Somalis. The bizarre thing was that many of the stories she entertained us with were urban, if one ever writes them into a book, it would easily be categorized as fantasy, science fiction, etc. Here I recount a few; 

Sheekooy Sheeko, Sheeko Xariiro, Shilin baa Dhuustay, Sheekh baa naag leh, Shibbanaa Sheegay;

The Flying Serpent - (Mas-duulaagii)

The tale was about a man who was lost in the sea and waves brought him ashore to a deserted Island. on the brink of demise because of starvation, he stumbles upon the nest of a giant flying serpent, He hides among the many remains and skeletons in the nest and starts feeding on the leftovers discarded by the serpent. once he regained his strength he jumps on top of this unwitting giant serpent holding into his horns, mid-flight the serpent becomes aware of his presence and tries to shake him off, the man stabs him with a bone, the serpent drops from the skies with a heavy thud into the middle of a city. the man is hailed a hero for killing the terrorizing monster and was awarded aplenty. 

Now the older me knows about the tale of "The Shipwrecked sailor" which is an ancient Egyptian myth about a shipwrecked sailor that was rescued by a flying serpent from the land of Punt. The fascinating story I would like to know is how my nomadic grandmother would come across to know a tale similar to that one that famously recited by ancient Egyptians. 


The Defective army - la'aa layaashii

a hapless man left his village in search of better fortunes. during his travels he met a man who keeps one leg tied all the time, lest if he lets go of it he would run involuntarily at phenomenal speed until he ties his leg in the knee bent position again . he offers to accompany him to the city and find him work that suits his misused talent. They come across many other men of such talents, one that covers an eye that could see things miles away, another that covers a nostril otherwise would blow out gales of devastative proportions. Finally when he assembled an army of many talented superheroes (Avengers! ^_^). they arrived at the city where their trials and tribulations start and every time they are saved by their superpowers.....the hapless man (now fortunate) being their leader, who suggests which superpower to use to get them out of trouble, Nick Fury!.

This was my grandmother's favorite, she would tell us this story each week, it was long as the band of undesirables would overcome many challenges. it was a true fantasy/science fiction story. I am yet to find a contemporary story similar to this one.


The Cursed one (Habaar-qabe). 

on a clear night, in the distant Somali inhabited horn, where light pollution was not a thing, you can see thousands of bright stars twinkling away as they ornate the heavens. my grandmother would point and tell us stories about a few of them. my favorite was Habaar-qabe (the cursed one), he disobeyed his mother and subjected her to physical abuse. she would point at the milky-way that is brightly evident and tell us; Do you see that? that is where Habaar-qabe dragged his mother? (Halkii habaar qabe hooyadii jiiday). She then would point out a constellation to tell us that is where he still lives today, crucified (gigane) as a punishment for his transgression. I believe this what we call the southern cross. 










Faarax Jiir

this is a story I think is abound with exaggeration. Faarax Jiir (Sarreeye oo Korreeye ha u naxariistee) was a man of our clan, a man of god (wadaad). He is credited to have formulated the adage "Beeni maxay qaban, Booraamaan ka imi" in reference to his painful honesty.  He was asked to lie in order to be granted entry into Awbare (across the Ethiopian borders) and to state that he is originally from Awbare and not coming from anywhere else, he initially agreed after persuasion, but when push came to shove, and was asked by the customs officer, he uttered "what benefit would lie do for me, I come from Borama!" , the officer was taken back by his honesty and allowed him to cross the border.

Faarax Jiir had divinely bestowed abilities, he would turn into the wind and would immediately traverse hundreds of kilometers in matters of minutes. She tells me that Faarax jiir once offered my grandfather to travel with him but he declined, Faarax reached the town hours before my grandfather and informed them of his impending arrival in the afternoon. it was reported that people who traveled with him when he turned out to the wind were inflicted with insanity. good thing my grandfather refused the offer then. 

I would never really know the nature of Faarax Jiir and I hope I find out a bit more about him in the future. was simply a pious man of God (wadaad) whose stories were exaggerated to entertain the vivid imagination of the masses or there is something more to it. 

Poetry

She was a living library for poetry, songs, and literature of her age. Most Somali nomads would hear a poem once or twice and be able to recite it completely from memory afterward. it was nothing special, even poets would always "wing-it" making poetry on the spot (gole-ka-fuul). after all, only a handful knew how to read and write. She introduced me to poetry, small lines with stories corresponding to each of them. explains the words and what they meant. it was a class in "Somali literature" one that I enjoyed and grateful for. 

Many years later I asked her for Hees-hawleed (work songs) for homework from school. I remember that she told me the following one about making Kabad (traditional mats) : 

Saaxil laga keenyeey ,
wada sujuriyeey,
si yaab aqalka loo saaryee.

Awdal laga keenyeey,
alaalag dheereey,
il bari looga soo oriyayeey.


I would wake up every morning to the sound of the milk vessel she was churning (Lulida dhiisha) , I first hand seen the process of making ghee, cleaning the traditional milk vessel (culida dhiisha) , rearing livestock including the many activities we urban folk are blissfully unaware (milking, slaughtering etc). She would weave ropes, 


This immersive experience was one that cemented "Soomaalinimo" into the young boy from the middle-east that I was. it turned out to become a crash course in Somali language and literature, one that I needed at that exact point in my life. dhaqan-celis on steroids. The stories, through spaced repetition, enriched my Somali vernacular. Exposure to cultural practices also reinforced everything. 

This experience is one that I wonder if my 5-year-old son would ever experience. the older and more cynical me would never allow it. I worry about his physical well being in a country with limited healthcare, being a doctor also doesn't help. yet I dwell on the psychological aspect of it, the identity crisis he might face growing here in the west. I am ashamed to admit that for him, Af-Soomaali has become a second language, Yet I would want him to be Somali?. Alla Waa Xujooy oo waa Xujooy!

My paternal grandmother Xabiiba was a living testament to the rich imagination of the nomadic Somali. I am sad that I was not able to record the wealth of Somali tradition she harbored. My ayeeyo passed in 2013. Allaha u naxariiste. 


Sunday, September 20, 2020

Why is Life expectancy Shorter in Somalia? a purely non-scientific rant.

 

15 centuries ago an Arabic poet named Tarafa, unaware of his impending demise ( a comical situation where he had to deliver his own assassination order) said about death and mortality in pre-Islamic Arabia;


أرى الموت لا يرعي على ذي قرابة

وان كان في الدنيا عزيزا بمقعد

I see death impartial to whom it befalls

Even if they are revered by a throne!


He reflected the reality of the time, the upper echelons of society and penniless bedouins had the same life expectancy. lack of healthcare generally was the great equalizer. in the 21st century that doesn't hold true anymore.




Every evening, I am shocked by the death of a relative, acquaintance, family friend, and occasionally a dear friend or a family member. most are either middle-aged or even young adults. half the posts in my High-school Facebook group are condolences to departed companions.  We only graduated in the mid-2000s and yet so many  perished by "sudden" illness.

Life expectancy in Somalia is one of the worst in the world, the difference between us and countries at the top of the list is almost 3 decades!. Many attribute our low life expectancy to ongoing violence, however, the expectancy is the same whether you live in Mogadishu or Hargeisa!. so there must be a variable that is similar across the board.

The good news is -if you think of it as good- if you survive childhood and few infections your chances are decent until you are in middle age and get your first heart attack, pneumonia or simply any medical emergency.

here is a practical scenario:

a 30-year-old man in Gaalkacayo steps on a nail, he goes to the local MHC (medical health centre) where he is looked after by a Healthcare assistant, the nail is pulled out and wound tended to but no mention of tetanus vaccine. a while later he develops severe tetanus as he was not previously vaccinated. he is brought in to the local hospital and an astute doctor gets the diagnosis of tetanus right!. However, there is nothing he can do about it in Gaalkacayo hospital. it's a death sentence!! even if he hails from a wealthy local family and they can get him to Mogadishu or Hargeisa in a private ambulance pronto, there is nothing they can do either. the best chance is in either Nairobi or Addis Ababa but he wouldn't make the journey.

Some of you in the west probably never heard of tetanus before but it kills few thousand young people and children in Somalia every year, with vaccination this number could be brought down to tens and good healthcare for the afflicted would bring down this number to a handful!

This is only one of many diseases that plagues our country.

this is why our life expectancy is low, poor infrastructure, lack of healthcare, lack of education, meagre economical capabilities, and  instability.

The equalizer in pre-Islamic Arabia is now the great unqualizer.


Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Somaliland and Taiwan relations; Crouching camel, infuriated Dragon!

 

photo courtsey of DALL-E

This month Somaliland opened a diplomatic office in Taiwan. it's not the first time Somaliland established some sort of quasi-official diplomatic relationship with another state, we have seen this in Ethiopia, UAE, and even some western countries such as the UK and the US.

although I am not cognizant of the particulars of this relationship with Taiwan, whether its diplomatic office or simply a trading post, it's no secret that this clearly has made one of the world's superpowers rather irate!. CHINA(obligatory trump China GIF)

Many Somalilanders perceive this as a serendipitous event that might invigorate the noble cause of "ictiraaf" or at least open a new economic gateway. However, others like myself are sceptical or rather optimistically concerned about China's fury!. This could put Somaliland on China's naughty boy list, something I would rather avoid runtii.

Late in august this year, China sent a mission to Somaliland with the promise of closer cooperation but I am not sure what transpired between Muuse Biixi and the Chinese. Could this be a negotiating tactic to secure a closer "partnership" with the Chinese? or simply the doings of "waanu dudnay ee hana loo sasabo" because of unfruitful negotiations in the past? My feeling is that it's probably a myopic and poorly thought-through move by our reigning president supreme Biixi and his band of inexperienced entourage!. or is it a 4D chess to kill the Somaliland dream!

TLDR; Somaliland's crouching camel policy might infuriate the Chinese dragon. or is it simply *"*Jiirna waa ka naf, bisadna waa ka ciyaar".

Sources

https://www.france24.com/en/20200909-somaliland-launches-representative-office-in-taiwan

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/09/07/china-worried-new-alliance-taiwan-somaliland/

Sunday, July 12, 2020

When I met Biixi! ( a fiction) - Riyo aan ku riyooday.

As I sat in a Hargeisa cafe, sipping Shaax, munching on a Sambuusa and humming to the background tunes of the 5 pm Somali BBC, moments before the broadcaster uttered "Halkani waa BBC Soomaali, oo aad ka dhagaystaan hirarka......" . The cafe was just outside the Hargeisa main hospital where I was volunteering for the month. I just finished my shift and was waiting for a friend who invited me to a Friday evening abundant with Khat and Qaaci.

suddenly an armoured Toyota Landcruiser with dark tinted windows and government number plates, pulled right across the road. Two men armed with worn and withered Kalashnikovs jumped out; you would mistake them for Mooryaans if not for the new-ish Military uniform "tuutaha". They appeared as skinny as a TB-stricken patient and they barely had any white left on their teeth, the tragic consequence of the wretched amphetamine-laden green leaves "Khat". However,  most striking was the bloodshot eyes and the cheeks stuck right to the bone with no fat or muscle in between. My mind wandered thinking about how malnourished they are. I was medicalising their appearance for personal amusement and started humming to Tubeec's song;

Qof waliba, wixii dhibay;

Dhafoorkay, ku taala!


The irritable young men made it to the cafe and walked in with the gusto of a crack junkie in withdrawal. They loudly declared while waving their not-safe-for-use AK-47s "Dr kadliye aaway" .

To say I was shocked will be an understatement, for a moment I was certain a lifetime of fadhi-ku-dirir on various Somali online platforms had caught up with me, finally. I am to become another Coldoon, ALAS!  but rather less known and more likely to rot in prison. even worse, they may be here to finish me off!!.

I whispered the Shahaada "Ashhadu an laa Ilaaha ila laaha...." My life flashed in front of me. I surrendered to my fate, Ironically my brain switched to playing a Somali song from the 80s;

 

Malyuumaadka Mootanee

Qabriyada mar hore glaybaa

Magacayga lagu darayee!

 

Then one of them added, "Daktoorka madaxtooyada ayaa looga baahanyahay ee away?" and the other said "si dagdag ah waliba" . My curiosity suddenly peaked, as I kept my finger at the shahaada position, I murmured; "waanigan".

They wasted no time, they ushered me to the Landcruiser and I was driven to the presidential palace which is less than a mile away from the hospital!.

My mind was racing with questions but I came to one conclusion, it's likely the president is unwell and they simply want a medical opinion, was he struck with COVID?, is he simply having chest pain? Maybe it's someone dear to the president, his wife, children etc. God Forbid.

as we arrived, I was received by a presidential aide, reassuringly a former middle school mate of mine. after exchanging pleasantries, He explained that I am here for a medical opinion. He profusely apologized for the way I was brought in. "you will be taken to the president in a short time" he added. I was firmly reminded of the secrecy of this assignment.

as promised, within a few minutes he took me down the corridors, directly into the president's own bedroom. "Things must be bad!" I thought to myself. There laid the president in his bed, dishevelled, shaking in the fetal position, muttering incomprehensible words. "he has been like this since the morning" The aide explained, "The president was experiencing nightmares since coming back from the Djibouti meeting, we are worried he might have been poisoned" He added.

I asked to approach the president and speak with him, here is what transpired.

 

Me; Mudane Madaxwayne, Dear president, Then I introduced myself.

 

Him; iga qabo, iga qabo, madad yaa jaylaani , madad (hold them back, hold them back! as he calls upon Sheekh Jaylaani! for assistance to ward off evil)

 

Me; Maxaan kaa qabtaa? (what do you want me to hold back)

 

Him; Markaan indhaha isa saaraba , Calankii buluuga ahaa baa la i tusaa ,  Indhaha iskuma qaban karo, hurdadii hadalkeedaba daa. Anigoo Maamule faderaal ah baa la i tusayaa oo waan sasayaa . Madadaw madad, Najinaa yaa Jaylaani!!

 

I interviewed him about signs of depression/psychosis/mania. He had no features of any mental health disorder, Just genuinely preoccupied with his worries and nightmares!!. There were no physical ailments either. He was too healthy for his age, physically, Mashalah!.

"one's nightmares are another's wet dreams," I thought to myself!!!

"This is no illness, this is sleep deprivation and stress from a severe case of political failure, following a bankrupt meeting in Djibouti," I concluded. However, I kept this to myself as any sane man would.

 

I gave him a strong cocktail of sleeping and pain tablets and reassured his team that he should be better in a few days. I told them that he probably have a viral illness. I politicised the truth myself!.

 

A week later, I got a phone call from the aide thanking me for the service and asking me to see his own mother at the clinic too!. that evening the president appeared on national TV, looking rejuvenated. He reminded  Somaliland citizens that recognition have never been closer ;

 

"ictirifaafkii maanta maalin uu ka dhawyahay ma jirto"

 

I grinned as I said to myself "I helped him get better, maybe a bit too much" then went on and listened to Khadra Daahir's;

 

Cudurka kaa gala fardaha

Hadii laga gubo dameeraha

Dawada lama gaadhayoo!!

 

Disclaimer; This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. This is also a dream for which the author had no control. I hereby renew my allegiance to Qadiyada Barakaysan ee Soomaaliland.

 

Friday, December 6, 2019

Can we extinguish Qabyaalad! 🔥


 The Simple answer is Yes! 

Qabyaalad could be extinguished through progress, development and ample economic opportunities. Not the easy answer you expected is it?. 

In fact, The question is not how we should get rid of tribalism? It should be, what is fueling the bloody thing?

When was the last time you met someone bent on being tribalist for the sake of being Tribalist? You will rarely meet such a breed, what you are more likely to meet are worried, scared and concerned citizens using qabiil as means to an end. They employ Qabyaalad as their Security blanket, Insurance policy or unfair advantage to climb the social mobility ladder. 

Tribalism like many other form of prejudice is driven by a lack of economic opportunities, stagnating social mobility, non-existent social security net, low levels of education, etc. Politicians and tribal chieftains feed on these social problems to fuel hate and generate more Qabyaalad. 

Those hellbound leaders invoke the most dangerous human feeling in people, FEAR!. Fear of another qabiil taking over their livelihoods. 

spreading rumours ( and sometimes news) about another qabiil devouring public resources or taking hold of jobs and educational opportunities makes people Afraid and worrisome.  

On the local scale, subclan X will take over our watering holes, Clan Y will steal your grazing lands, clan X mayor will fire our clans civil servants in the local government etc. The fear invoked is a struggle for survival (quutal daruuri).

It's the same old drum that we heard many times, however, for the desperate hopeless and hapless person it's music to their ears. They find another to blame for their miserable lives,  and no wonder one hears that the mareexaans are responsible for Farmaajo's shortcomings, Habar-Awal are responsible for Biixi's Junta looting the country , etc.

How often do you see the well-off educated middle-class person in Hargeisa or Muqdisho giving two damns about Qabiil issues, Or the hardworking builder with family to feed in Boosaaso or Kismaayo indulging qabyaalad in their free time. They are busy with their lives, but with occasional reminders that any misfortune is the fault of Clan X or Y. 

One shouldn't confuse them with those in the diaspora that mostly are "badaw doolar helay". Who themselves are impoverished in their host countries and qabyaalad is their outlet to feel important. They use it to relieve the stress of a midlife crisis brought in by their emasculation in distant lands!. 

However, it's a Catch-22 paradox. If you want to progress, you need to get rid of Qabyaalad, and if you want Qabyaalad to end you need progress.

My only advice is, to avoid fighting Qabyaalad head-on. one should create the right environment for it to gradually wither away.

NB; Qabyaalad is different from Qabiil which is an inherent part of the Somali culture and identity.




Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Sheekooyin Qadhiidh ah! Q-2aad


Isaga oo mirqaan daruuraha maraya ayaa taleefan u soo dhacay, lambarka ayuu jaleecay misa waa Islaantii uu qaadka ka soo amaahday, Kamuu qaban wuu ku damiyay. markii uu madax kor u qaaday, waaba iyadii oo hor taagan. Naxdin Waynaa!..








Wednesday, September 2, 2015

second of September 2015

 Cunugyahaw ayaamahan
curadkayga noqonee
aan sugaayay dhawr cisho


Cawa badan nasiibiyo
caafimaad laxaad liyo
cimri dherer wanaag liyo
caqli buuxa oo ladan
caadilkii ku uumaan
kaaga baryay caawee
cunugyahaw ogsoonaw

cibro qaado oo dhugo
cibaadada ha moogan
Rabbigaa ha caasiyin
caqiidada ogsoonaw.

Hooyadaadan ceeshkiyo
aad ka idlaysii calafkii
iyadana ha caaqinin.
Bilo bay ciqaabnayd
hurdadii ka caagnayd.
aduun kuu cayuubnayd.
Waligaa ciseeyoo
cindigaaga maqashii. 




Friday, July 17, 2015

People with two Gods! The cognitive dissonance


one day as I sat in the masjid, surrounded by pious souls, the imam preached; "Allah knows the Sinners among us". Earlier in the week, a  bombing in Mogadishu took the lives of hundreds of innocent bystanders. lives lived but extinguished in an instant. All "allegedly" by the name of God!. but which god? 

I wondered - cynically- "How many killers are among us in this blessed congregation?" 

A nation (Soomaalida oo dhan) riddled by decades of war, Hundreds of thousands killed by their kinsmen either directly Qori caaradii or indirectly by the mayhem that ensued, via lack of access to food, water, healthcare and or sheer starvation. How many were publicly stood trial for their transgressions? obviously none!. 


Many older Somalis are consumed by guilt, by screams from their past, nightmares of innocent people they shot point-blank and graves they lined with bodies. they work with us, go to the mosque and pray, they put up a visage to the rest of us, yet they remain tortured in their minds. 

Dhagar qabe dhulkaa u dhaqdhaqaaqa is a somali proverb. 

some others are astronomically worse, they capitalized on everything they have done, they rationalized hate and murder!. they are the fighters that brought "us" freedom, the defenders of "our" freedom or simply "some call themselves Mujaahid , Siyaasi, Halgamaa, Janaraal and similar pompous names are uttered for such damned souls.   

Both are a reflection of what has become of our nation, a whole nation living in collective denial. we mourn for the victims and celebrate the perpetrator. what is even worse is that the victims revere their assailants!. after all, memories are a tricky thing, yesternight's killer can become today's Hero. 

Dumarkuba Xublada foosha way xanaf wareeraane,
Balse inay xis daranyihiin , Xaylka kale mooge. 

when I was at school in Borama sometime between 1999-2000, there was an altercation between two local clans over a wretched piece of land, this has led to few deaths on both sides. one of my school teachers lectured us that day about how Somalis have two Gods, a small God they worship when then head off to the mosque or attend a funeral and another rather more influential God that helps them decide everything else in their lives. by the latter he implied Qabiil/Tribe!. 

curiously, as a young lad, I knew the Qabiil of everyone in that class including all our teachers, it was the norm, a testatement to the times.  but to this day I have no idea about that particular Teacher's Qabiil. All what I recall is his utter disdain with everything Qabiil related and to this day that analogy of his stuck with me....




Tuesday, February 10, 2015

A crisis of Qofnimo!




Runtu ma fantaa, Through the course of my life which have been tarnished by the ongoing somali civil
war forcing me to change countries and encounter different cultures, I have always been self-conscious about my identity. Truthfully being Somali is not fancy nor does it give moral or intellectual satisfaction of belonging, for the challenging mind its constant discourse and search of virtues in the light of abundant vices...Although I was drowning in a false sense of PRIDE (Geel-Jire mentality) implanted into me not by our abominable culture but my father's constant favorable and optimistic insight into the Somalis, somewhere deep down, I harboured an innate feeling that we were simply WRONG. That feeling grew with every time I became more worldly, it was not self-hate as I loved being Somali and more importantly -UNFORTUNATELY, ashamed to admit- inaan ahay ina-aabihii oo reer hebel ah. (OLD habits die hard)

I once heard this pun.. ""The Nations of the globe decided to devise and invest in the making of a Super-Computer , capable of computing minute data and performing complex calculations in super-sonic speed. After a panel of scientists, years of high-tech work and Billions of dollars, the Super-computer was finished, it was unveiled in the most neutral place possible, The UNITED NATIONS! and First question to be asked publicly was rather bold, Which country will rule planet EARTH after 500 years?! with slight certainty, the computer uttered, SOMALIA, silence ensued, ask again few dignitaries suggested to repeat the question,Alas! the answer was the same SOMALIA..........the chief scientist then asked , O' wise computer, Why would somalia rule planet earth after 500 years?...in a rather ominous monotony the computer replied; According to the data provided every country in the world has a positive progressive development going for them and due to the inevitable climate change which would render life on earth difficult to bare, Nations will devise cosmic posts outside earth for their people to reside, on the other hand Somalis will be left alone  to scrounge the lonely derelict  planet and thus will be Earth rulers by default; Said the wise (Wordly Incorportated & simulated Electronic)Computer""

 I slightly smiled, not because of the tasteless joke but because of the far-fetched reality, then I grinned meh! I am pretty sure there are others doing far worse than us.

I like Somali poetry (most of my cyber contributions are about Somali literature) and I admire the simple ways our ancestors survived the harsh environment they called home!! (Although not harsh as Arabian Sahara or Siberia)..My heart swells by the generosity of Fellow Somalis,their cordial demeanor and hospitality... Our culture was right once, but incompatible one in the contemporary world.Many are scrambling to shape the Somali peninsula to their own liking and agendas whether it is the illiterate tribal chieftains, the contracted narrow-viewed religious cultists, the rusting stomach-minded politicians or the recently emerging foreign-culture-saturated diaspora and at last and probably least the poor terribly aging fellows deep in the somali countryside keen to revive nomadic Somalia.

Other than the widely shared human trait of innate admiration of one's homeland and the nostalgic connections we have for what it embodies, our home peninsula! did not provide enough to qualify as the land that owes us a sense of nationalistic rhetoric or loyalty for that matter.A home should be place where you feel protected, wanted, fed and nurtured, for many the Somali peninsula was everything but a home, more like a lion's den, where the cubs leave as fast as they can fetch an antelope for themselves. Leave or die. Against all odds, I still consider myself one of the lucky lot that believe the Somali peninsula has invested in. That duty might keep me shackled to contribute and go back one day.  I say that but who knows!. Ilaahay baa og.  



Oh Allah! Save us from the Balwo.

The advent of "Balwo" Musical style was met with disdain by the contemporary religious and cultural figures of the time. one of th...