و الشمس و ضحاها

Muuqaalka kan oo ah mid qof kasta oo ku noolaa degalka Soomaaliyeed aqoonsanayo, ayaa waxa uu tusaale u yahay in waxbarasho la'aanta marmarsiyo looga dhigi karin buug la'aan , xaashi la'aan iyo qalin la'aan. Buugta aadame ayaa qoray, isna waa joogaa, "Hadii hanku jiro jid loo maro lama waayo"

Maankaygu waa gobanimo-doon!

Aniga oo hor yuurara Computer-kayga oo qalaamo rogaya bogaga shabakada internetka, ayaa waxa iga soo hor baxay qoraal aan aad u dhibsaday, waxa ay naftaydu igu boorisay inaan war-celin ka bixiyo oo qofka waxaasi ku hadaaqay fikirkayga lidka ku ah u muujiyo. Faraha markii aan saaray Keyboard-ka een ereygii ugu horeeyay qorayba, dib baan u tirtiray. Waxa aan ka cabsaday dadka akhrin doonaa inay iga qaatan aragti aanan rabin, ha u badnaadeen asxaabta iyo ehelkee.



Dhacdadan ayaa maankayga ku dhalisay waydiimo gun dheer, ma u madax-banaanahay aragtidayda? maankaygu ma yahay mid gobanimadii qaatay oo xor ah? ma waxa i dabraya oo i seetaynaya dadku waxa ay iga qaadanayaan? iyo waydiimo badan oo la hal-maala.

Isla markiiba waxa aan ku  garwaaqsaday in maankaygu la-hayste u yahay bulshada aan ku dhex noolahay,  oo aan si dhaadasho la'aan ah ugu hogaansahanay. Waan rog-rogray oo hadana waxa aan gartay in meesha sartu ka qudhuntay ayna ahayna fikirkayga ee ay tahay soo bandhigista iyo wadaagista fikirkayga. Bulshada majaraha uma qaban karto waxa ka dhex guuxaya maankayga, maba oga, way mooganyihiin, Aniga iyo Ilaahay ayuuna naga dhexeeya, Laakiin bulshadu waxay dhangado la taagantahay ardaaga aan ku soo bandhigi lahaa waxa iga dhex guuxayay.

Ereyga Eebe caza wa jalla waxii aan ahayn inaan ka fiirsado, ogolaado ama diido waxa ay ka mid tahay xuquuqdayda qofnimo, waana sababta Ilaahay noogu mannaystay maskaxda. Duurjoogta iyo Dabjoogta waxa kala duway midi waxa uu u hogaansamay aadamaha kan kalana wuu diiday, waa abuuristooda, oo Ilaahay baa ku alkumay.

Waydiin kastaa waxa ay leedahay war-celin, taydu waxay noqotay inaan u kaco hayaan dheer oo gobanimo doon oo aan madaxbanaani iyo geesinimo ugu helayo maankayga kana xoroobayo xadhkaha bulshada.!!

2013...a year to remember.

2013 in my memories. 

Each moment in our life is remembered in a unique way, incidents leave their colourful paintings in our minds or they inflict ugly long-lasting scars. Last year was just the same as the previous last few years, nothing special. 2011,2010,2009,2008 were, all the same, a piece of the same cloth, the same dance and tempo. 

Not this time, 2012 is when I found my Venus! , it was when I met my Hodan and my Juliet. Love is like virginity, once taken its gone forever, this time I am deflowered,  not physically but my heart is besieged by the Trojan of her passion. I was not deprived of womenfolk and I had my fair share of dates, and real-life Love plays, solely driven by the demon of lust and corporeal desires. since my early teens although I am not endowed by what women may call "Sexy" but when I drive my lips apart and start articulating words, their jaws drop, hypnotized and suddenly my physical attributes were compensated. I recall once a  lady who dreaded the language said "You make the irritating Somali language desirable and Romantic", Ironically, I don't know what would "Romantic" translate to Somali but I always replied by an abstract from a hadith ""Indeed some forms poetry are wisdom and some forms of speech are magical." NNKH

 This lady, Frankly have nothing special and it confused me a while, Why?, but then I concluded, Just like everything else "Jacaylku waa calaf" Love is destiny. my philosophic and psychological analysis of this was that I enjoyed the challenge!. All the women I have been in relationships with were all a cliche, nothing special, just the normal Xaliimo  and Jaamac talk. This lady approaching her was a taboo, Marrying her would be a heinous act of sacrilege to my conservative family but for the magical feeling of love , I found enjoyment in going against them in this matter as long as I am not displeasing the Omnipotent. After all who am I to abide by rules that are set by some great great great grandfather who is now struggling with his after-life, who am I to live by the mistakes of that Jaamac, that would be wrong and plain stupidity...Human is all about evolving and saying NO to what is wrong...Freedom and Equality should not just be words. 

Love is possession. my folks are gossiped to be experienced soothsayers, but the best of soothsayers can never forecast a coming possession of love. I see no other beauty than hers "Jaaheega nuurka leh, baa i jiidanaayee, Juuq uma idhaahdeen, Hadaan Jari karaayee"   ~Qalinle.  I have tried to describe her in many ways but finally I concluded that her beauty is the Somali beauty, her classic somali visage, her literally golden skin complexion and her million camels smile just are nutrition to the heart before the eyes. I feel comfort that the last time I felt at my mothers lap with her, her laugh is makes me laugh, her little imperfections are even attractive no matter how disgusting they are.....I don't want to speak like the love struck teenager here, but thanks to her she makes me reincarnates the teen inside of me.

Shame is not falling in love, shame is never falling in love. now what remains is that I go against my family and a whole hypocritical judging community, but I don't care, as I believe Allah is beside me in this. All what I ask dear dear reader is your genuine prayers....May 2013 be the year of my victory.

Sannad Waliba hoodiyo, hawl iyo dhibaatiyo, wuxu hadimo leeyahay. 
waa laga helaayoo, hadhaw lagu xusuustaa.. 
Kii noo hagaagee, noqo loo han-waynyahay...
Aaamiin. 

My Jordan memoirs; Part two

After  couple of hours on the road we arrived at the town that I am going to spend nearly 7 years of my life, Irbid. Its strange how a place I  heard of a week ago will literally hijack the most beautiful years of my life, my "dhalinyarnimo" my young adulthood years, the prime and cream of my lifetime, in return Irbid will generously provide a handful experiences that  will help me further in my life, in addition to my primary goal, Kartoonka Jaamacada, The Carton that my university certificate is.

Although I was  cold-struck and shivering, the excitement and mysterious expectations that lies ahead have intrigued me. I was bestowed with an extra bout of energy I never thought I had, a surge of liveliness was running through my veins, I was  thirsty to know, to learn, to experience , I was hungry for it, Finally I am an independant human responsible for my every actions. 

 I am not blessed with a camera-eye and usually I cannot recollect the faces and names of every person I meet but people are never the same and situations vary, The faces and names of the students in Irbid that welcomed us that day are enshrined into the belly of my brain. 

By this time I have been awake for almost 40 hours but amazingly I did not feel that much tired. we slept that night in vigilance sleep by one eye and awake by the other, Afraid of the unknown, The most Irrational yet rational fear!. 

The cordial gestures expressed by the students (to be Friends) had a soothing and calming affect on all of us, We felt like war heroes liberated from enemy's captivity. it felt like arriving home, yet to unknown faces.
 
I got sleepy now...to be continued. 
 

meeting destiny!

Days come with different flavors, sweet days, bitter days and sour days but some days have no taste, infact no taste can describe them or I have no word to describe them in my limited multilingual vocabulary.

In my 30 things to do before I reach 30 quest, Hesitatingly but hopefully I added "to see nala" to my list. Nala was my destiny, I never knew at that day, but nala was my destiny.

The funny thing about destiny is the element of 'unexpectedness', predicating destiny is like putting a drop of water in the ocean and trying to extract the same drop  again! The reason its called destiny is because its destined to happen no matter what we want, do or believe. its unavoidable.

Nala was my unavoidable, The stingy feeling of expecting to finally taste spending a moment with Nala, the hanging tongue just like a puppy , the bounding heart and racing pulse, the churning stomach and flying butterflies, the disoriented mind and nervousness, the mixture of excitement and expectation. Those moments felt like centuries, I am not blessed with strong memory and with my short attention span I don't have the capacity to store beautiful and life turning events in my neurons, but that moments was one , it is and will be a moment that I will never forget....

Me standing there, with suspicions of vanity, do I look good? should I tuck in my shirt or leave it hanging? what hand should I take the rose with? is this dress really appropriate? how do I smell? coupled with caring and worry , is she fine? did she had any kind of trouble during her trip? Made my blood boil and sweat drain down my forehead.

I don't remember whether I was standing or sitting but I clearly recall that my eyes were glued upon the "arrivals" gateway , I sharply glanced at every person turning from that corridor, disappointed , its not her, its not her and again its not her. an hour passed I was in that state, but my stress level was off the charts.

Destiny is unexpected, in one unexpected moment She turned, Nala walked calmly like a proud she-camel, she walked alternating her legs with pretentious confidence, I can feel it, She is brave, She is a nala , A lioness, but I can feel the stress in her eyes, I could sense her heart, lovingly fearful. I walked towards her, pretending to be all cool, but my legs were heavy, I barely moved them, She walked, I murmured few pleasantries that I don't even understand but she responded. She responded with the sweetest words that a human tongue ever spoken. Nala once told me Maneno mema hutowa nyoka pangoni.Pleasent words will draw the snake from its hole..  She drove the stress out of my body in an instance, She was nala the Same nala, but more shy, more pretty and more sweet. 

I fell in love all over again, it tasted , smelled and felt real because it was real..it was not cyber anymore, it was the real thing. She was standing there...The most beautiful of the XX species standing in-front of me. Right now I could see her, I could sense her, I could touch her!

Sheekooyin Qadhiidh ah

Fool iyo Bilays

Taladii baa ku cadaatay, dhulkii baa cidhiidhi ku noqday, meel uu u cararo ayuu garan laayahay, magaalkana wuu ku cusub yahay, oday ciroole ah oo ka ag dhawaa oo tusbax sitay ayuu naxariis iyo gargaar ka dayay oo ku yidhi “Adeer, xarunta booliska ee inoogu dhaw waa halkee?” Odaygii :”Adeer horey u soco ilaa 5 daqiiqo, laakiin maxaa dhacay adeer?” Ninkii oo neeftuuraya ayaa yidhi “Xaaskaygii baa foolanaysa!”

Cod xumaa oo wacanaa

Iyada oo heesaysa oo marti sharafka madadaalinaysa ayaa laba gabdhood oo hoos fadhiyay lahaayeen “Gabadhu cod xumaa maxaa fanka galiyay?” Way maqashay wayna isku naxday , mar qudha inta dhidid waawayn wajiga ka soo daatay ayay dhulka isu tuurtay, “fanaanadu  way suuxdaye ha la qabto” ayay labadii gabdhood la soo boodeen, iyada oo la sii sido ayay hadana yidhaahdeen “Eesh calaa fanaanad, Caawa party-gii waa inaga xumaaday hadii ay ka tagtay! Shidh.” ….Fanaanadii way dhoola-caddaysay..!!!

Most beautiful Moments....

The most beautiful moments in your life;
* When you live in peoples hearts without any cheat or deception..

* When you resist the Devil, and return to the Creator, knocking his door and he approves your repentance..

* When all around you understand what you want, so they lend a hand..

* When you supplicate to ALLAH, and your eyes like a river of tears, with a heart longing to see him..

* When you hear the crying of your first child, then you take him in your arms and give him all the safety and love..

* When you gloom for the meaningless years of your age, then you start the real work..
* When you get up in the morning and find that all the yesterday’s sins were erased.. 

I have read it on an email and I liked it...I might add.

*When you earn something you worked very hard for. You reap what you saw. 

A man's period!

Humans despite their gender are of the same chromosomes and genes , at the end of the day all of us are posterity of Adam & Hawa. Our body physiology is somewhat similar, our cells follow the same constitution known as the "Homeostasis".
From this extremely basic and superficial explanation its safe to infer that men should menstruate just like females and as I have postulated they also do, not by bleeding and abdominal cramps but by periodic spells of transient depression and feeling of nothingness.

Prolonged menstruation is pathological and always requires medical workup same goes for this periodic spells of males. A prolonged male period requires further analysis and management.

feeling of inadequacy, of weakness, of tardiness. Being in the midst of an antagonizing waves of drawbacks , you look up to the horizon and the waves seem limitless, you summon help and no one answers, you appeal for mercy but it goes in vain and the waves come bigger and mightier. that is my description of this periodic spells.

HOPE is the only medicine here, giving up on Hope is detrimental and devastating...HOPE will save the day, Dreaming is the mother of Hope, Keep dreaming to have hope and keep hoping for better to survive..its a divine promise to Never give up on Allah's Mercy...

30 things to do before I turn 30

Things to do before I turn 30 years old INSHALAH ----All selfish and personal---With no specific order....once I write one thing, I will never delete it , therefor I will be careful picking up things because I need to fixate to on them.

1)Keep posting on this blog.
2)Have a big beard
3)Graduate from Medical school.(Inshalah in Few months, Inshalah)
4)At least be in medical residency program Inshalah
5)Learn Quran by heart Inshalah (last shot, after 30 I can't)
6)Tour all neighboring East African Countries (Simple yet hard)
7)Get rid of my beautiful tummy (Needs commitment)
8)Abandon FB! (I am addicted to FB, I just need to stop logging in)
9)Fall in love in Medicine ( I need to)
10)Kiss my DAD and Mom.!
11)Go to gym for a full month (Phew!)
12)buy an iPhone/Samsung galaxy albeit I don't know the differnce (People have been talking about it a lot)
13)Try Lobster! (Yuck!)
14)Learn a new language.
15)Go on a week of Khuruuj. 
16)See NALA .
16) Updating........................................................

Nabad iyo Caano! (Peace and Milk) --Part 1--

Bandhiga Asbuuca - “Duullaan” - Asle Niniile, Golol Art Gallery 1983 (Keydmedia.com)

Somali people never knew peace in their short history, One can never Imagine Somalis without war, it was their  ritual, Thus men were divided to Wadaad "Man of Religion" and Waranle "Man of war". Wadaads "Men of Religion" were part of what Somalis called Bir-ma-gaydo "included women, children etc". Waranle's had a code to never put down your spears and be prepared "Hubka dhulka ha dhigin"  in Fact Waran in somali means "Spear" hence waranle "The one with spear".  

Peace for Somalis was a luxurious word along with Milk, rarely you get both. to have full stomach and sleep with peace was heaven on earth. thus Somalis pray for each other by saying "Nabad iyo Caano", Peace and milk. During times of prosperity old grudges resurface and lust for bloodshed is apparent on the red eyes of a nomad. 

Men no matter what and where unless bound by some form of intellectual or moral code are stomach-minded "Calooshii la ciyaar" . If the mind is not nourished and allowed to develop and grow in a healthy way, stomach takes over. For the Somali waranle stomach is the cerebral cortex and the only code of ethics he follows is that of manhood "Raganimo" . 

Animals are stomach-minded, they live to eat and kill to live "law of jungle". Humans as the almighty intended should be superior and think further, think of  what lies beyond, raise  questions why? How? what? etc and get involved in the eschatology and after-life destiny. A purposeful human is the one that only eats to live. A human have emotions and feelings. Feelings and emotions are different from the basic instincts possessed  by animals such as protecting progeny and lust for mating. 

Waranle is an animal that can speak, decide, give and take orders. To a Waranle spilling human blood is like spilling a chalice of milk- sometimes even milk is more valuable!. the sanctity of human life is a concept the stomach can't understand. The idea is not that Waranle is a barbaric savage but he is not far from it. 

In an arid and harsh climate combined with the scarce friends and abundant foes, there was no place for softness in the Somali peninsula. quoting a well known Somali poet will convey the message.
Meeshaad lix ku joogtaan dagaal laabta ka ogaada.
Hadii luqunta la idin jaro, Lugaha meermeersha.

Comrades! If your numbers amount to six, be prepared for a raid.
If the enemy cuts your throats, keep kicking with your legs!

Focusing on Somali literature is enough to infer the warrior culture that somalis inherited from their ancestors!.

Midho aan Jaleecay.

Onkod roobku ma daayo
Anna taaha ma daayo
Anna taa ma ilaawo
Jacayl ood rogan maayo.
****************
Ifkaa la isu tudhaayee
Iilka la isma gar gargaroo
Aboor la iskama baajee
Nabsi hayga amaahan
Axdigii na dhex yiiliyo
Ha iloobin aqoontii.

~Onkod, Abdi Tahliil